world war II

Currently, my interest is on World War II issues. I feel curious about how people in that time try to survive. How they represent themselves and what is their major concerns. So, I made an appointment with kak khadijah and both of us went to KLCC only to read for the whole day.

I was looking from one shelf to another. Until, two books caught my eyes.  I asked the bookstore staff to help me, unwrapped the book, then I took a sit and start reading two thick books.

Interesting!  Because I felt like I was engaging with myself once again. I flipped through the second pages. To see what points that important to read at this short time.

Only to find that, most important thing that people during that time try to solve was about food. Food. And.. Food!

Hunger and starving are the major problem. Shortage of food supplied.  The authority had to feed the people that only enough until the next meal. They didn’t want to waste even a gram of food on people. This made them to run a lab, in order to do experiment on the optimum amount of food that should be given to these groups of workers.

They made different proportions for every type of labour work and according to gender. They had a very articulate result. As the people was being forced to do the labour for long hours, and some had died, due to the excessive fatigue,  the authority even though they were not really concerned about the lives of others, but they concerned about the maximum production that came from these labours. So, they had to consider about the people conditions.

They came with very discreet proportion. For an example,  the miners should eat more than the female workers that had to work in the factory.

Even a small thing sounds big.Their experiment result, shown that women could have increasing their productivity, by not taking coffee, to stay for long hours, instead some bread and butter, would do about 20% better for the productivity. 

Tastier food had psychologically made the workers felt motivated to focus on their job, and this driven the scientists to invent a special food that tasty but still in a low budget.  This however resulted of controversial cases that inflicted upon the workers. Many had experienced food poisoning. The shocking news was, when the sample of food was put under the microscope, bacterias were found ‘swimming happily’ on it. When this was announced and the workers being informed, they didn’t really take it seriously as they had this thought that food was not easy to be scavenged. They had no choice anyways. Eat or not eat. And if the food ignited their taste buds~ that is heaven! 

Psychologically, it made me a little bit puzzle when I think of these people. May be if I am in their shoes, under the eyes of the super villain, I will definitely doing the same thing. Just take anything what I think is good for me for that second and let the rest worries all gone, so that I can continue to survive. I was not sure if I able to hold myself without showing anger to this villain people. Will I be the type that only walk with the flow, or do something to fix things?

When hunger and starving were the only that alarming your body system, you will do anything to focus only on that. Even though this made you force yourselves into this very oppressive system, you just know that you have no choice. The book had recorded, about a father that felt very disappointed with himself, he had killed himself, because he felt his frailty, to feed his family was a real major failure. History is a repeating process.  Still remember about the Tunisia?  When the new about a father that intimidated all the Ulama’ from Arab countries by burning himself to death in front of the government’s buildings. The fatwas had been issued, that he could not being buried as a muslim. Killing yourself is not forgiven.   Until, Yusuf Qardawi, made a new fatwa that somehow, people seeing it as an against statement to the early fatwas. He said the poor man had been driven beyond his stability by the oppressive government. The blame is on the government, not him, practically. 

What if I was not the first generation that witnessing the beginning of the war? And my community was already adapting themselves with this oppressive system. Would I follow them as I didn’t want to hurt them due to my reactive actions? Would I?

Faith at this moment is coming in really expensive price. That people wouldn’t really dare to try something new even though they madly dream about freedom.

If world war III take place any moment- will us prepared ourselves mentally? Will us let ourselves into this oppressive system?

That’s a big question.

One thing to say, when I read about war, I really want to give my salute to my dear friends in Palestine. Because they managed to stand on the ground, stick to their faith, and nobody be able to conquer their souls. They really devoted themselves to Allah. They should being given a credit for that, and absolutely an example for us all.

Jum berdikari!

Did you ever attach to somebody like a shadow?

I think most of the time, a lot of us do. Rasa sangat memerlukan seseorang. Rasa macam nak terikat sangat2x dengan seseorang yang kita panggil sahabat, ukhti kita. Sehingga segala-galanya nak pergi pada dia. I used to be this kind of person. Nak selalu attach dengan manusia sekeliling.

Until, one day, bila betul2x di landa masalah besar. I learned that, I can't foreverly attach to somebody.

I have to fight alone and my own. And masa inilah berserah diri kepada Allah.

Dan selepas2x itu, saya kurang sudah bergantung kepada manusia.

Bila dah macam2x masalah melanda, and Allah bagi jalan keluar. Perasaan, sikap dan pemikiran juga berubah. Awak mula nampak semua masalah remeh je, sebab masalah yang lagi besar adalah, apakah penghujung perjuangan hidup anda? Bagaimana meniti titian sirat nanti. ada talian hayat ke? Nak spend the rest of eternal life di tempat yang sentiasa membakar kulit anda yang berganti-ganti, or you want to chillex dalam syurga?

Dan masa inilah segala alasan sudah tidak boleh pakai lagi. Antara nak buat atau tidak sahaja. Masa inilah awak akan mengurangkan aktiviti memikirkan perkara2x yang tidak mendatangkan faedah bagi awak, mentallay dan agama awak. Dan masa inilah you grab chances untuk terus ke depan without looking back.

and you are not afraid anymore.

Jika terlalu bergantung kepada seseorang, atau terlalu bergantung kepada alasan, awak tidak belajar melalui kehidupan.  Mulalah berdikari, dan hanya bergantung kepada Allah.

Don't be a failure more than once!

rasa kehilangan

Hmm...
Saya bagitahu seorang kawan ney, saya rasa saya macam kehilangan sesuatu tapi tak dapat detect apa yang hilang itu.

benda ke? orang?


Namun, macam memberi kesan kepada perasaan saya, rasa macam incomplete.

Apakah itu?

Nak cari ke?

atau redha sahaja dengan kehilangan itu.

May be ada hikmah if I keep continue without telling myself what is actually membuatkan saya rasa kehilangan.

adakah buku2x novel yang saya tulis dahulu kala? Okey, saya dah buang semua buku2x itu selepas saya betul2x baik dari sakit yang panjang.

atau gerak kerja dakwah? saya masih on? cuma terpaksa bertatih semula after all storms.

adakah orang2x yang banyak menyentuh saya? tapi saya masih setia stalk mereka.

arwah nenek? arwah atuk? sahabat bernama Aisyah yang sudah beberapa tahun meninggalkan dunia ini? Akhawat arab? Lecturer arab? baba dan mama?

Housemates?

Okey. Sungguh saya tak tahu.

Jika rasa kehilangan ini sebenarnya adalah satu yang baik. Sepatutnya saya bersyukur.

Jika kehilangan ini bukan sesuatu yang baik. Semoga Allah membantu saya memuhasabah diri sendiri.

because the only thing I want to do now is move on. and be cool~~

Essential of keimanan.

Essential of keimanan, saya fikir ianya adalah taqwa.

apabila bertaqwa dengan sebenar-benar taqwa barulah kita mampu untuk taat dalam beragama.

Ramai yang kata saya pilih dia kerana agama dia. Tapi definisi agama kebanyakan kita adalah melihat pakaian dia, percakapan dia and pengaruh dia. Ya, tidak dapat dinafikan itu semua adalah juga adalah kesan yang lahir dari akhlak yang baik.

Namun, mesti ingat. ada yang beramal, namun tidak diringi dengan taqwa, and jadilah kita lihat, orang yang nampak best jer pengaruh dia, apabila tang amal, tidak bersungguh-sungguh ke arah itu. Malahan menjadi parasit pula pada orang2x yang terdekat. tapi bukan kita yang boleh menilai hati orang lain. Itu hanya kuasa Allah.

Kali ini, entry ini bukan di tuju tepat2x mengena mana2x individu. Sebab dalam masa terdekat ini, dan silam saya, seriously saya dah jumpa ramai. dan saya tertanya, apakah perkara fundamental yang hilang di situ??

jawapan yang sangat tepat adalah TAQWA!

Orang yang beragama belum tentu taat dalam beragama. Hanya ada ilmu. Hanya ada suara yang sangat berpengaruh tapi amal yang sebenar?? yang benar2x telus dalam menunaikan arahan Allah dan meninggalkan laranganNya??? Bila tak TELUS, maka jadilah kes2x bermain helah untuk mengharapkan Allah menyokong kecenderungan dirinya sendiri. 


...................................


Saya mahu renung sejenak. 


Hati yang berbolak balik ini yang kena sentiasa dijaga. Percakapan, tindakan dan dan apa segala reaksi kita mestilah kita periksa semula dasarnya~~iaitu hati?


Apakah hati itu benar2x mahu mencari keredhaan Allah atau hanya mengikut kehendak diri sendiri?


Dan orang yang sudah ada ilmu itu ujian lagi besar dan lagi halus. sebab itulah cara terbaik untuk tidak tersasar adalah menjadikan TAQWA itu sebagai bekalan yang terbaik. 

Specialnya tentang TAQWA ini adalah hanya between you and Allah. Nobody can judge you based on your TAQWA.

If you have a lover, a halal lover, of course you want to share something that is so discreet with him or her. He or she is special. So, you will share something special wth him or her. 


How can you say that Allah is your lover if you can't even try hard enough to be insan yang berTAQWA???

enough for now..

p/s: hikmah itu adalah barang yang hilang dari umat Islam... 




Bagaimanalah dunia apabila dihiasi dengan insan2x bertaqwa??